This is Japan's take on China town. When Sara, who is from Hong Kong, was with us, she and Yoshiki(Asami's brother) visited here. In Sara's words, it was cleaner, not Chinese, and maybe a little cooler than actual China. I would have no idea, because I have nothing to compare it to, aside from Sara's word. It was definitely cool, it was definitely clean, and everything else was very Asian to me.
This is a crap load of people in a very small space. This is common in Japan. Every where we go, there are a ton of people. Some people relaxed, some people going nuts, some people in a hurry, and some people with no concept of time or a worry in the world; you see it all in the streets of Japan.
This is another one of those translation errors. The Japanese, correctly translated, actually says, I only believe sake. This is in reference to believing sake instead of people.
These two kanji characters used together translate to alcoholic.
This shirt translates to "pervert"
Strange shit.
I was approached by this man in bizarre garb. He then gave me this book that had this terrible English translation relating to him being from a temple in China and he was collecting names and addresses to take back to his Chinese temple so he could pray for them. He offered me a spot on his note pad to write my name and address, "in Japan," he said. Mind you, he did not speak Japanese, and he did not speak English. My wife thought the guy was creepy (indeed he was), but I had to entertain the guy. So I wrote my name as Matthew. I wrote my address as AMERICA. He didnt think it was as funny as Asami and I did. He gave me this badge, and as you can see by the bad ass statement it carries, "Safe allone life," its an important tool. Bahaha. The guy after giving Asami and I the badge, stuck out his hand and said "donation." Asami tried to give him the badge back; however, the greedy asshole wouldnt take it back and kept saying donation and coin. There are 500￥coins in Japan which are approximately $5. I offered him US 1$. He took it and said, "MORE." I gave him one more, and he wrote the number 5 on the book and showed me and said MORE. I said "5? no, 2. Two will suffice, it will make do, you will make do with it, yes?" Asami dragged me away.
We then met up with Asami's friend Tomo and her fiance Ike(EE-kay). They are two great people. Ike is probably the nicest guy I have ever met. He waited on Tomo hand and foot. Hes a very good baseball player here in Japan, and though he didnt speak any English, we carried a very nice conversation about why Jelly fish is not good eating.
We went to an "all you can eat" restaurant in China town. This is not a buffet style all you can eat, but you order your dishes, and the entire meal is a set price. Cool, huh?
I have no idea what to call this first dish, but on the inside was a broth and some time of chopped meat with vegetables. It was a fried dumpling of some sort. But the first fried dumpling Ive ever eaten that had broth inside the dumpling.
Spicy tofu, or spicy TO-who as they call it here.
Spicy bamboo shoots.
My wife CHOWING down on the dumplings. They were her favorite.
Chicken wings, roasted duck, rice, and vegetables
On the left is a spicy vegetable salad with duck bits.
On the right is the remnants of the jelly fish. Tomo loved it.
Peking duck. How to eat:
1. Put thin layer of sauce on dough
2. Put your duck skin on the sauce on the dough
3. Top with vegetables
4. Roll and eat.
This is very very good eats here.
The fried dumplings you saw earlier you see here, except not fried, and not upside down. These are the same thing with the broth inside, except this time, they're steamed. These were one of my favorites. Tasty tasty dish, indeed.
After we finished eating, we went around town with Tomo and Ike. The K-pop (Korean pop music) sensation has caught on in Japan. This store was dedicated to everything Korean and K-Pop alike. It was very homoerotic although the teen girls every seemed to think the guys were posing for them in their manties.
I try to get pictures of some of the odd clothing I see, though I dont do a very good job, just because people will suspect me of being a pervert, but this guys pants were just too f'ing ridiculous.The crotch of his pants went down to his ankles. At least he was wearing them at his hip. Most refused to wear pants at the hip and most often beneath the ass. Although, I did see one guy with painted jeans that actually had painted boxers showing all the way to the ass. This gave the appearance he was sagging to his ass, but it was mere illusion, he was actually wearing his jeans to the hip.
WE'RE GETTING 3D IN THIS BIZIITCCCCHHH
3D ELEVATOR RIDE?! YEAAHHH BITCH
3D MONKEY PUTTING THE FINGER TO MY CROTCH?? YEAEAHHH BII... wait.. what the f? Sick monkey...
And the fun begins...
Awwww
This optical illusion absolutely weirded me the F out. I wanted to get close to understand how it worked, but every time I got closer, it got weirder.
This is some original Japanese trick art dating back to the late 1700s. Cool cool.
Tomo refused to take off her 3D glasses long after we had left the 3D theater. We couldnt figure out why she wouldnt take them off. We begged, pleaded even, but she absolutely refused to lose the 3D glasses.
I hate this damn guy. I hate him. If I had a dream about this guy, I would probably not wake up. Or, when I did wake up, it would be in a puddle of my own waste. I hate this guy, mind you.
That wrapped up our day at China town. Now on to PHASEEEE TWOO...
Beef tongue, WHERE YOU AT BRO?!
First: Christmas day out on the town with Pops and Moms - in -laws.
In the madness of people and motion and movement and controlled chaos, out comes a beautiful scene such as this. This is in the middle of the city, mind you, and is absolutely breathtaking. Its so hard to believe sometimes when this just pops up, literally.
And then to face my fears. We made it to the Tokyo Tower. The Tokyo Tower is the second tallest structure in Japan. Its very f'ing tall. When we walked up to it, it made me nervous. When I stood at the base and looked up, it made me wobbly. When I was told we were going up to the observation area, it made me nearly faint. This is a massive, massive structure. Its something you have to experience to believe. We only went up 150m, but 150 meters is enough to make this man weep. So the journey begins.
This is a splendid view, right? Sure is. But you see, I had to walk close to the window to see this spectacular site. I honestly wanted to get on my hands and knees and crawl to the window, but my wife wouldnt let me. I was so dizzy and generally destroyed by fear at this point, I couldnt put up a fight. I wobbly stepped my way to the window, fighting the overwhelming urge to vomit.
My wife, always available to capitalize on my weaknesses.
Isnt this site mind blowing? Especially to my friends in the South, who have never really seen a big city... This is building after building, stories and stories high. This just captivates me every time I see it.
Really, Tokyo Tower? Merry Christmas? I appreciate it...
But really, F you. F you, Tokyo Tower.
And then it happens.
I had to try so hard to smile for this picture. It was almost impossible, honestly. If it werent for the countless children around me running up to the viewing window like it was no problem, I probably would have taken the elevator down and missed this picture. I didnt want to take it. I didnt want this. But, I did it anyway. Puke.
You know, through all the torture I went through having to see the world from 150m high, it was a wonderful treat to make it out the exit and see this little fella. Then it all made sense: this was by design. You see, they scare the absolute shit out of you with the treacherous tower. The allow the fear to build and build and build before releasing you to the world below. Then as you make it to the world below, they have this delightful little treat of a monkey there waiting for you with morsels of delight and feel good cuteness.
You know what, Tokyo Tower? F you, twice, but Merry Christmas, and only because of this treat.
My wife, the giant, AHHH.
Like I said, Godzilla was spotted in Japan. He's blonde haired, blue eyed, and built like a cow.
The obvious thing that makes this picture so obviously fake, and why I could never be Godzilla, Im too afriad of heights. Godzilla clung to the sides of buildings and high up places and shit. I simply cannot do that. My feet need to be on a flat surface, and when I look down, I see the ground beneath my feet. When I look around to see plenty of room where when I step, I will not fall, or die a splatful(terrible made up word, but accurate).
The previous two pictures of the cedar hold a story, and this is it. Ulysses planted the F'in bad ass tree. I was a proud American.
This is Asakusa. It is a very old area of Japan that never really went with the upgrades of modern society. It is very much untouched as far as holding on to that feeling "the good ole days" so to speak.
Asakusa, still partying like its '35.
The Skytree Tower. F you. F you, Skytree. I do not find you remotely interesting, nor do I have a milliliter of delight in my being of interest for you.
This is really fantastic, and let me tell you why. All these little places are called izakaya. An izakaya is a watering hole, a bar, a pub, a speak easy, or simply a place to gather with your friends to eat delightful little mysterious seafood marvels that you can only find in Japan, and drink heavily.
Everyone you see at these places are drunk. Not just drunk, but wasted drunk. Most Japanese do not acknowledge me other than a very intrigued stare. This time, I found a man to wave at me. I have gotten maybe 5 smiles from strangers, maybe 5 people who have asked my wife what exactly I am, and then this delightful guy. I loved him. I loved his big smile, his timidness, his drunkness. He wanted to be my friend, even though he was too shy to do so, but in his inebriated state, he found the heart to welcome me to such a bizarre place for a foreigner, with a wonderful smile.
Hell, why not visit one of our own? Sounds good to me. Except these places are small. These places are teeny tiny small.
Ahh, much better. A couple of Chu-HIs later, and my father-in-law and I are feeling good. Back to the town...
And then this happened. Asami has been trying to get me on one of these taxis for a long time. Back in the day, only the rich traveled the Rickshaw. But today, for a fairly high fee, you can be toted around like you are the rich one by a silly clothed service oriented Japanese fella who speaks 27 English words but left me understanding everything he said.
Meet Yoshi.
Mind you, its about 0C here. For us States-side folks, thats 32F. This guy is in some biker shorts. And is entirely too happy. I couldnt tell if he was a homo, or was just want too into his job. Maybe both, but regardless, he was very kind to Asami and I.
Oh, the in-laws had to indulge as well.
Strangely, everyone treated us like we were royalty when we were in the Rickshaw. Japanese people were speaking to us in English, Gaijin were snapping picture, and I kept apologizing to the poor bastard that had to pull my fat ass around in this primitive transportation device.
Japan is extremely service oriented - they stopped mid pull so they could snap this picture for us in front of a 280 yr old temple. Nice guys, nice guys... and Im still feeling very guilty.
F you Skytree. I dislike you just as much in the dark as I do in the light. F off.
We then took the train back to the Tokyo tower to see it at night, and geez, what a sight.
WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT THE GRILLED SQUID WITH THE SOY SAUCE AND LEMON JUICE?!?!
WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT FRIED TOE-WHO?!
WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT CHUCKED BEEF TONGUE?!
wait what?
Yep, this is a beef tongue patty. Much like a hamburger, but its all beef tongue, baby. And damn is it good. It came skewered on a bamboo stick. Ive learned anything that comes skewered is 9 times out of 10, whoop F'ing ASS. As is the case with beef tongue.
So this was my Christmas in Japan. It was wonderful. Fantastic. Splendid.
No really, I have no way to put into words what I experienced this Christmas. There was no hustle and bustle of gift giving. There was no stress of family clash. There was no worry of who's house we planned on spending which meal with.. and so on. It was very relaxing. We spent a day taking in more of Japanese culture. Learning, keeping our minds young, enjoying life the way it was meant to be enjoyed, with loved ones, getting to know each other, with a great meal, and great conversation, and great drinks. There is one thing though, what definitely made my Christmas in a foreign country where I do not speak the language or even have a quipit of grasp on the culture, is the love. There is love here with my family that oozes and oozes. Its so similar to that of my mom and dad. It made me miss my mom and dad, greatly, but if I couldnt be with my mom and dad this Christmas, the greatest thing I could have done, is be with my wife and in-laws. To the greatest woman in the world, my better half, my love and joy, Asami, and to the greatest in-laws I could have never imagined, Merry Christmas.
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