"Most of the older Japanese think that all gaijin are insanely ignorant but you can use it to your advantage" - Graham


Quick definition resource:

gaijin - foreigner, more of a general term for a "caucasion"
baka - stupid
bakagaijin - idiot foreigners

So before leaving the airport in Norita, I had to take a quick trip to the mens room.  Asami takes me over to these bathrooms that, from the outside, appear to be the most private, comfortable, enjoyable bathrooms in the whole world.  One thing Ive learned, if from the outside it appears calm and simple, on the the inside it is a terror of madness and chaos and carnage.  Much was the case with this bathroom.  I open the door and low and behold its a damn cockpit for a F16 fighter jet.  There's landing gear, knobs, buttons, buttons that a red, green, blue, purple, orange, chains, harnesses, lions, and a parrot. There may or may not have been a robot welding pipe.

I immediately walked back out, laughing hysterically. Everyone was laughing because they thought I took the quickest pee in the world; however, they did not understand I had intruded on the filming of a Will Smith robot movie.  They particularly loved it when I told them the bathroom frightened me.  My mother in law told me it was OK and just to try again.  So I re-entered, peed, and had to look at the thousand different buttons and cartoon drawings to determine exactly how to flush.  I succeeded.  So began my adventure in Japan.

I next went to eat Ramen.  Not the Maruchan, cheapest meal in the grocery store variety, but a real Japanese dish famous all over the world.  

Great food, a great place.

However, you do not place your order with a person.  You order from a machine.  Like a giant vending machine with a touchscreen and pictures and people.  

You know, if I did not have my wife and inlaws with me, I would have been so broken.  Crying and flailing in the floor of a small restaurant, broken.  But.... they were there.  Thank God!

Let me go back and add a picture or two from early in the trip.

Russian Coast, 36k ft, -75F

Northwest Territories, Canada

our Boeing!

My in-laws.  Absolutely no fear.

This is the Ramen shop where we first ate.

Japanese Yen. 

My BEAUTIFUL wife getting ready for the Shizen wedding

Basashi.  Looks delectable, tastes fantastic.  Then I was told this is horse.

Food on sticks rules.  Food wrapped in pork on sticks rules times 1000.

The wedding I plan on uploading as videos.  I don't have time yet to upload videos. But they will be coming soon. So that will be an update in its own.  But this now leads me to Graham.

Graham is from Australia.  Graham lives in Japan.  Graham has no fears.  Graham likes to drink.  Graham has an innate ability at making Japanese uncomfortable.  Graham is loud.  Graham is funnnnny. 

Japanese culture presses for the restriction of individuality.  In fact, its seen as the degradation of society so there is a big emphasis placed on routine and submission.  There's not a lot of strangers chatting like in lines at the supermarket, or on an elevator, no one would dare speak.  People are not loud or wild.  There is a general disdain of attention and the ultimate goal is to never feel uncomfortable.

Thats why Graham is awesome.  He is the absolute greatest at making people feel uncomfortable because hes gaijin and speaks fluent Japanese. Hes like the ultimate dilemma.  He even knows a lot of uncommon, OLD Japanese that is widely known but only the Samurai would ever speak.

Graham, the in-laws, and my wife and I went to breakfast one morning.  It was this mock American joint called Jonathans that specializes in ground beef steaks and gravy.  Graham ordered beers for the table and the madness began.

Our poor waitress, who was too scared to take a picture with Graham, was young , frail, and generally timid.  Graham spoke to her, screaming, in Samurai Japanese and english.  He would tell her she was cute and then tell her not to be nervous. The woman almost had a break down.  You could see on her face every time she came to the table, she absolutely dreaded it.  She could not sneak to and away from the table without attention.  My mother-in-law also stated that its usually against company policy to engage in friendly casual conversation. I would have felt bad for the waitress, but my in-laws were laughing so hard, I couldn't control my own laughter.  

Graham and I had a ton of fun.  Its time to run. But my next two posts will be the wedding videos and how Graham combated the intended efforts of bakagaijin.